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____________________________________________________________________ [ 9:. - [ how to create a hax0rmobile ] [tak] :. ] [tak@b0g.org] :. ] ____________________________________________________________________ So, you just relized you can run faster than your car, and you are pissed off at people making fun of how slow it is. If you cannot have speed, you can sure as hell have looks. What we are going for is complete and utter fear when rolling up to an intersection. Steps to making a hax0r car: Go to the dollar store and buy some white 'car markers' then write 1's and 0's all over your car. Next you should go to the Salvation Army or something and pick up a few old 386's for $2. Take all of them apart so you got mad parts. Now pull your hubcaps off and ductape your 4 motherboards on. Now you are rolling on some 22" motherboards. Take the ductape, and tape like 2 random cards together, some old ISA ones. Now put this contraption over your rear view window, instead of something non hax0rish like DICE, you have network cards and modems. Get some glue, a big market, and alot of paper, its time to make some bumpter stickers. You should write some cool stuff on the papers, anything you want! Some suggestions are: b0g!@#! ph33r m3 1 r 31337 sup unix? Type* x-7r3m3 h4x0rZ r4c1nG *PING PING* Those are just the ones i have. Just glue the paper anywhere on your car you want. Now you need a cool display, like their elite software in the fast & the furious, so if you got another 386, use that. You will need to remove your passenger side seat to fir your 1980's huge ass monitor, cause who the fucks got money for an LCD display. After you mount your monitor, you need to determine what OS you wanna run. This is hte hard part, because if you wanna be l33t and run unix, you need to be able to draw. You are going to have to make a "This car is powered by XXXX" sticker, and draw the accompanied logo. If you can draw a Pneguin, or Daemon, go for it, but its alot easier to put "This car is powered by:" and have a big arrow going to your window. Speaking of windows, if you are real elite, you should remove, or smash all yours out, then put up signs that say "fuX0r w1nd0z!" around the old windows. If you get questioned by the local authorities about this, just tell them that u dont wanna crash, so you dont use windows. If they are elite they will get it. Take the CPU fans from the 386's and mount them to your hood, they will look like "uber turbo engine fans" like you gotta keep the shit cool with max airflow for uber horsepower. Thats about it for basic suggestions, there are however some more complex things if you have time and money. These include adding a defense system to your car [missiles&paintball] with a nice LCD screen and pretty GTK interface! Something else thats pretty hax0rly is too put a mirror on your bumper with a sticker that says root@ and then a # rm -rf/ one after...so it says: root@[mirror]# rm -rf / They will fear because it will be their license plate # and shit. Another sign i have on my car is one in the rear window, it says: "If you can read this, i just 0wn3d j00, or im going real slow on a 1 lane street, and you cant pass me, you fag. Or if your a cop have a good day" <-- that shit gets me mad hoes. Anyways, i need to upgrade the cpu's on my tires, have fun hax0ring the information superhighway in your new ride. b0g!#@!b0g!#@!b0g!#@!b0g!#@!b0g!#@!b0g!#@!b0g!#@!b0g!#@!b0g!#@!b0g!#@! b0g!#@!b0g!#@!b0g!#@!b0g!#@!b0g!#@!b0g!#@!b0g!#@!b0g!#@!b0g!#@!b0g!#@! the following is taken from an actual muder trial attorney: "Before you signed the death certificate had you taken the man's pulse?" coroner : "No," attorney: "Did you listen for a heartbeat?" coroner : "No." attorney: "Did you check for breathing?" coroner : "No." attorney: "So when you signed the death certificate you had not taken any steps to make sure the man was dead, had you?" coroner : "Well, let me put it this way. The man's brain was sitting in a jar on my desk, but for all I know he could be out there practicing law somewhere." b0g!#@!b0g!#@!b0g!#@!b0g!#@!b0g!#@!b0g!#@!b0g!#@!b0g!#@!b0g!#@!b0g!#@! b0g!#@!b0g!#@!b0g!#@!b0g!#@!b0g!#@!b0g!#@!b0g!#@!b0g!#@!b0g!#@!b0g!#@!