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____________________________________________________________________ [ 3:. - [ How to get laid on prom night ] [esd] :. ] [spin@plebian.com] :. ] ____________________________________________________________________ subtl Well, it's about that time again. Prom is lurking around the corner for all of us American high schoolers. Mine is April 21. The number one priority of your night shouldn't be having fun with your friends, no sir. It should be getting laid (which is fun also, unless you're a complete fuckface). Now, obviously there are several ways you could attempt this. There are the subtle ways like "Hey, nice shoes - wanna fuck?" or "Here, take another drink!", then there are the esd ways. Sure, you could go ahead and do those first things, god knows I used to. But there are other ways my friends, and I will reveal them to you. First of all, dates are generally bad to bring to prom. Let's take my situation. Prom tickets are $25 a piece this year. Gas money is around $15 probably. Paying for dinner would be another $30 and a corsage would be like $20. Taking a date roughly costs me, oh, $90. And this doesn't even guarantee getting laid. Now, say I go with some friends. $25 for one ticket, no gas money, no corsage (I have no idea if I'm spelling that right) and maybe $10 for some food. $35. A total savings of $55. Whoo. Ok, so you get to the prom. What the hell are you going to do? Everyone's here with dates right? Wrong. Most of the people at proms now don't take dates. This leaves you with a nice selection of healthy, grade A, premium booty. Like I said earlier, you could get her drunk as fuck and nail her, but anyone can do that. You want to separate yourself from the desperate losers. If you do get a hot girl drunk -- and she's popular -- let's just say you'll be waiting a while to have sex with anyone involved with her for a while. So, use my technique. Pick a girl out that you like. Obviously, she can't be a virgin (unless it's a freshman of course, or an ugly bitch) because most likely she won't give it up. After you've selected your prey, er, girl, walk up to her and ask her to dance. This works incredibly well on freshmen by the way, because they're so naive. Heh. While your dancing, tell her she's hot tonight. Don't go for any of that cheesy Casanova shot, girls don't go for that as much as you think. She'll probably be trying to think of something to say, don't let her talk. Ask her who she came with. Basically, the main idea here is to talk while your dancing. Come off as relaxed and don't make it too obvious you're hitting on her (yet). If you just dance with her and stare off into the crowd, you're not going to get shit. While talking, you're going to have to come off as cocky, they like guys who are a little full of themselves. Ask her if she likes your tux. This whole convo is going to have to be improve on your part. If you're talking to a freshman you haven't really talked to before, she's probably not going to know what to say for the most part, so it's going to be your job to hold up the conversation. After the dance, ask her if she wants something to drink. If she says yes -- you're in, if not -- you're out. I could write a whole new article on how to redeem yourself if you messed up horribly on the dancing part, but I don't really have time. So let's assume she says yes. Sit down and chill with her for a while. While sitting, you're not going to be as talkative as the dance, but you still want to talk with her. Ask her if she's doing anything after the dance and if she isn't then see if she wants to come to your house or a friends house to watch a couple movies you rented (heh). The movies part is classic - works about every time. Assuming she says she'd like that; you're in. If she wants to go with you somewhere you're pretty much guaranteed a fuck. But, you're going to want to keep it cool for a while longer. When you get back to wherever you're taking her, you have a couple choices. You could do some of the things I listed above if you're feeling extremely horny - get her drunk, just ask her if she'd like to have sex or hell, slip her some roofies, whatever. Or you can test yourself and actually sit down and watch a movie. Out of those 3 things above, the 2nd one actually has worked for me on several occasions. Let's assume, however, you're sitting down to a movie you've rented. Scary movies are ok, lovey dovey movies aren't. Comedy is the way I go though. Believe it or not, her seeing you laughing will probably get you in better than anything else. After the movie has started - it's smooth sailing. If you fuck this one up; you're a moron and you'll never get laid. Happy hunting gentlemen. 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