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[ 7:. - [ Pissing off Radio Shack and other people ]     [wh0rde] :. ]
                                                 [wh0rde@b0g.org] :. ]
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Brought to you by the letters E and K, and by my good friend Mary
Juana. Now to the article.


Well, since Im extremely bored, and dont have the effort, Ill just
do a stupid article. "Pissing off Radio Shack and other countless
people." Yes folks, Im in a great mood. Went to sleep at a nice 3:30
am, got up at a nice 7:30 am, yessiree life is great. Why was I up so
late? I was confing! Yes, it is so unbelievably elite and #k-rad that
I just cant get enough. What do you do on a conf? You do one of three
things. If you are a newbie, or just stupid, you lurk, or dont talk
at all. If you are bored, and a regular, you barely talk, and mostly
play annoying music. If youre a veteran you have 3-way calling on
your phone so you prank. So who do we call? Anyone. Dont worry, this
is just the introductory paragraph.

So, you want to become a l33t-0 prankster or veteran. You must know a
few things, and one of them is beige boxing. If you are not a loser
you can beige box, and I only say this because there are billions of
losers out there. 3000 text articles have been written on this, and
you ONLY NEED FOUR SENTENCES. 1) Get a phone, take the cord and cut
it, and slice off the plastic, so all you have is the red and green
wires, you dont need the yellow or black wires. 2) Go outside to a
neighbors house and get a comfortable seat next to their telco box. 3)
Open box, (may need a wrench to get the bolt off) attach red and green
wires to the screws you see, and call a conf number, and set it up. 4)
When you have enough people call the host number, and party. Simple as
that.

Now you are a regular, you can setup a conf etc. Go to radio shack,
and ask for either item 44-533BB or 43-1237. 533B is 3$, 1237 is about
14$. Either one is ok. Now, at your computer, do start-run and type in
sndrec32, or if you have some other audio program use it. Set the mics
up (whichever) and read the next part.

If you do not have 3-way you are stupid, and should get it, its great.
Pick a number that you think you could do something with, such as an
Indian Restaurant where they dont understand english (sorry, but they
dont, and Im not racist). Turn on your mic/program and hit either
flash-number-flash or hangup-number-hangup and everyone on the conf
will hear it. Have one designated person do the talking, and fuck with
em. Heres a sample conversation:

[me]: Excuse me, can I have a pound of elephant testicles?
(Waiter): Sorry?
[me]: A pound of elephant testicles?
(Waiter): Please hold
[me]: No..
-hold music-
[me]: Fucker.
(Manager): Yes, you want one smuggled elephant tusk?
[me]: Uhh.. no, TESTICLE
(Manager): All out!

And heres NOT HOW TO DO IT AT ALL, NEVER DO ANYTHING LIKE THE
FOLLOWING CONVERSATION

[Stupidperson]: HAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHHAHAHAA
(Waiter): Yes?
[Stupidperson]: Uhh.. yea, can I have.. HAHAHAHAHAHAHH
-hung up-
[Stupidperson]: HAHAHHAHAHHAAH

Ok. Now you know the basics, now you need your Plist. Yes, its a
stupid name for a prank list, but fuck you. Take down the names and
numbers of a bunch of stores, and think of funny things you could do,
such as call up a giant store (Dominicks) and say that youre locked
in the bathroom and you dont know where in the warehouse you are.
Theyll go nuts trying to figure out what happens. Or, call up Best
Buy and say you are "Bob from Sales" and ask to be put on the intercom
because your number isnt working. Then play loud annoying music much
to the dismay of the customers. Personal numbers are MUCH more fun but
can get aggressive, so I suggest you be careful. Fun ideas are saying
you are towing their car, arresting their wife, arresting their
daughter for first degree murder and DUI. Go nuts. Now, get a wav-]mp3
encoder, stick it on mp3.com, and rake in the rewards (not much).

Since this was a stupid article and you probably know this, Ill give
you a small tidbit of interesting information. I was on a conf with
Burrows and he told me a cool thing. He (along with everyone I know)
is a mathematician (close to one..) and loves number theory etc. He
said if you take the mean point for the start of a river (point A) and
the mean point for the end of a river (point B, going into the ocean)
and take the distance from A to B ALONG THE RIVER, youll have
distance X. Now take the distance in a straight line from A to B to
get distance Y. If you take the ratio of X to Y (X/Y) you get about
pi, every time. Cool.






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