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[ :::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::: ] [ b0g article # 4 :::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::: b0g ] [ :::::::::: Shell fun * some g1mp * abuse@microsoft.com ::::::::::: ] [ :::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::: ] Some humorous things to do to a UNIX system: >From the csh (c shell): % make love Make: Don't know how to make love. Stop. % got a light? No match. % sleep with me bad character % man: Why did you get a divorce? man:: Too many arguments. % rm God rm: God nonexistent % make 'heads or tails of all this' Make: Don't know how to make heads or tails of all this. Stop. % make sense Make: Don't know how to make sense. Stop. % make mistake Make: Don't know how to make mistake. Stop. % make bottle.open Make: Don't know how to make bottle.open. Stop. % (- (-: Command not found. % rm -i God rm: remove God? y % ls God God not found % make light Make: Don't know how to make light. Stop. % date me You are not superuser: date not set Thu Aug 25 15:52:30 PDT 1988 % man rear No manual entry for rear. % If I had a ) for every dollar Reagan spent, what would I have? Too many )'s. % * How would you describe George Bush *: Ambiguous. % %Vice-President %Vice-President: No such job. % ls Meese-Ethics Meese-Ethics not found % "How would you rate Reagan's senility? Unmatched ". % [Where is Jimmy Hoffa? Missing ]. % ^How did the^sex change operation go? Modifier failed. % cp /dev/null sex;chmod 000 sex % more sex sex: Permission denied % mv sex show % strip show strip: show: Permission denied % who is my match? No match. % set i="Democratic_Platform";mkdir $i;chmod 000 $i;ls $i Democratic_Platform unreadable % awk "Polly, the ship is sinking" awk: syntax error near line 1 awk: bailing out near line % %blow %blow: No such job. % 'thou shalt not commit adultery' thou shalt not commit adultery: Command not found. And from the bourne shell (sh): $ drink < bottle;opener bottle: cannot open opener: not found $ test my argument test: too many arguments $ "Amelia Earhart" Amelia Earhart: not found $ PATH=pretending! /usr/ucb/which sense no sense in pretending! $ man -kisses dog dog: nothing appropriate $ mkdir "Yellow Pages";fiYellow Pages $ mkdir matter;cat > matter matter: cannot create $ lost lost: not found $ found found: not found $ i=Hoffa ;>$i ;$i ;rm $i ;rm $i Hoffa: cannot execute rm: Hoffa nonexistent The following are ones that I can't get to work on my BSD 4.3, so I suppose that they are stuff from ATT SysV or some other such: % strip bra bra: Cannot open % sccs what bottle can't open bottle (26) $ cat "door: paws too slippery" can't open door: paws too slippery $ cat food_in_tin_cans cat: can't open food_in_tin_cans ........................................... ...#""""""#................................ ..." ~ ~ "................................ ..( 0 0 ).. /------------------------.. ...| <> |... | |.. ...| /"" |...< I am dumb! |.. ...| ____ |... | |.. ...|| ||... ------------------------/.. ....****/................................. ......||...................................