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**********************[ b 0 g - [ a r t i c l e # 14 ]********************** $ by: unknown $ **************************************************************************** ** [ h o w t o h a r a s s t h e p 0 l i c e ! % @ ] ** **************************************************************************** 1. When you get pulled over, say "What's wrong, ossifer, there's no blood in my alcohol?" 2. When he asks why you were speeding, tell him you wanted to race 3. When he talks to you, pretend you are deaf. 4. If he asks if you knew how fast you were going, say no, my speedometer only goes to...... 5. Ask if you can see his gun. 6. When he says you aren't allowed, tell him I just wanted to see if mine was bigger 7. Touch him 8. When he asks why you were speeding, tell him you had to buy a hat. 9. Ask him where he bought his cool hat. 10. Refer to him by his first name 11. Pretend you are gay and ask him out. 12. When he says no, cry. 13. If he says yes, accuse him of sexual harassment. 14. If the cop is a woman, tell her how ugly she is, but in a nice way. 15. If he asks you to step out of the car, automatically throw yourself on the hood 16. When he asks you to spread them, tell him you don't go that 17. When he puts the handcuffs on, say "Usually my dates buy me dinner first" 18. Ask to be fingerprinted with candy, cause you don't like ink on your fingers. 19. After you sign the ticket and give it to him, say "Oops! That's the wrong name." 20. Bribe him with donuts, and when he agrees, tell him sorry, I just ate the last one. 21. When he comes up to the car, say "License and registration, please" right when he says it. 22. When he goes to read you your rights, sing "La La La, I can't hear you!" 23. Trip and fall into him 24. Accuse him of police brutality when he pushes you away 25. Before you sign the ticket, pick your nose. You have to sign with hispen. 26. Chew on the pen, nervously 27. Clean your ear with the pen 28. If it's a click pen, take it apart and play with the spring 29. Ask if he has a daughter. If he says yes, say I thought the name sounded familiar..... 30. Ask him if he ever worked in a prison. If he says yes, ask him how the plumbing was 31. Act like you are retarded 32. When he's telling you what you did wrong, start repeating him, quietly. 33. Mumble to yourself 34. When he tells you to stop, say what are you talkin about, DUDE? 35. Drive to Dunkin Donuts and say hmmm....only 5 of you here tonight....... 36. Ask if they know how to make the donuts. 37. When he comes to the car, say I have a badge just like yours! 38. Ask if he watches Cops 39. Ask if ever watched Cop Rock. 40. Giggle if he did 41. Talk to your hand 42. Ask if he knows some one named Rosy Palm and her Five Favorite Friends. 43. Accuse him of Sexual Harassment if he does. 44. When he frisks you, say You missed a spot, and grin. 45. When he asks to inspect your car, say there is no alcohol in my car, sir, the last cop got it. 46. Try to sell him your car. 47. Ask if you can buy his car. 48. If he takes you to the station, Ask to sit in front. 49. Play with the siren. 50. If you know him, say you had his wife for dinner. 51. If you don't know him, ask if you can have his wife for dinner. Oops...I meant OVER for dinner 52. Ask if he ever had pu-tang er 53. If he asks what it is, point at him and giggle. 54. If there is someone else in the car, talk to each other in tongues 55. When he acts confused, keep talking, look at him and laugh. 56. When you are in the back, touch his neck through the fencing 57. Turn your head and whistle. 58. When he pulls out his night stick, say what you gonna do with that 59. If you are female, say I don't do that on the first date. 60. If he sticks you in the back of the car, cower in the corner, suck your thumb, and whine. 61. Stare at his lights and say "Look at the pretty colors!" 62. Tell him you like men in uniform. 63. Ask if you can borrow his uniform for a Halloween party $- $- $- $- $- $- $- $- $- $- $- $- $- $- $- $- $- $- $- $- $- $- $- $- $- $