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____________________________________________________________________ [ 1:. - [ how to fuck up the world ] [some aol’er on drugs] :. ] ____________________________________________________________________ When your like me and get bored eassily its veryt hard to keep fuctiong the way your parents expet you to. I would go out with Killer Kurt all the time and destroy evrything we coiuld find that looked stupid,get drunk off my ass,trip on acid(like im doing righ now),use the necronimiconm to summon a watcher to kill my teachewrs my douchbag bratty sister and the fat sickining son of a bitch that lives next door to me,and my parents would very rarely do anything to try to stop me. i gues they just thought i was goin throuhg a phase or sometihg like that. We ll I finalyl hit upon the perfect combination of things to do that not only get your parents to reac, the are a hell of a lot of fun and cause so much evil, chaos, and havoc that Satan will be sure to reservbe a good seat in Hell for you. So now Here are step by stpe instructins on HOW TO FUCK UP THE WORLD Step one:Get.a large supply fo plastics garbage bags, gas or other very flammablle shit,and a flamsthrower or somet other way to light fires from a distance (just to make sure you dont die yourself before your ready).Also i forgot to mention,take a good amount of drugs befoere you start doin this so youll be able to finish what you start.I reccommend about three hits of blotter acid (4way album cover is best,thats what i use),about 2 grams of weed (smoked),some mescaline if you can get it (arizona is a great place to pick it yourself),and of course the good old american tradition of JACK DANIELS. Most people mix this with coke but I have invented a new way to do it,which ya do by mixing it with JOLT cola instead. tHIS (godamn fuckin caps lock key) will get you really goin, you may want to use some speed as well so you dont pass out and some ludes or other type of downer just to keep you balancd well. now make sure you can still stand up (once you get that far the rest will come naturaly) and get in yer pickup (if you dont have a pickup there is no hope for ya!) and drive. Oh remember to take the gas, bags, and light with you. Step two: Drive to a secluded area and preparew for your assault on the armies of the conformist bastards. What your gonna be doin here is summoning a demon. This is one of the waeker types according to the Necromnicon so you can control it easily in your druged state but powerful enouhg to actually be of use to ya. So draw yer pentagram on the ground,get a Slayer tapepl aying (no motley crue!!! or the demon will laugh its ass off at you before killing you and eating your soul. Adn thats a big waste of time not to mention no fun at all.) set candles at all cardinal points and cut a long incision down the lenght of your arm about frmo mid-bicep to just before your wrist as you dont want to bleed to death,just enough to get about 3/4 of a pint or so. Drip all this blood inside the pent.,and chant the following: "YOGGIH PPEDRILS, STOWART EHNTAHL SHILGLI DRAGGULS UOHT!" Say this5 times and you shoukld noteice the candles flikckering (hmm i blieve the rrUSH is starting to come on nwo, this sucker relly was worht 40 a sheet!!)! By the way that shit up there that ya say is not nay kind of backjwards bullshit, it is the real stuff. I paid 40 bux for my copy of the youknowwhat so i oughtta know. now where was i o yeah. Onece the damn thing appears thjen you gotta establish control over it real qiock before it start getting any ideas. by the way in caser you wodering what it will look like it is a big motherfucker approx. 20 feeet tall with green leathery sking. If you get the wrong one it doesnt really matter that much anywayt since youll be dyin soon but it helps. so now get it to fly along above yer truck (tell it to be invisible so ya dont have peopl starin at ya!) and drive back to whereever it is that your gonna destroy. Step three: stop back at yer house wreal quick and pick up the follwng. If you dont have all this at house then just go by a hardware storte and a drugstore and picjk it up. if the owner objkects then just take out his kneecaps with your crowbar and he wont be goin anywhere for a long time. 30 dozen hammers 50 gallons of paint (asorted colors is nice but not necesary) (jesus this is weird, have any of you ever seen ther letters on yer screen wiggl ing and boucing didnt think so!!) now where was i/ 5-10 tanks of propane 100+ gallons of gas (for a seperate use than the gas i alreadyu mentiond) from the drugstore,or your closet if your like me and keep a constant supply of every kind of drug ever made): 1,000 doses of pseudoephedrine (there we go,i spelled it right! well ive got the catalog next to me so fuck it anyway,it doesnt mean shit.neuither does your mama. i think im getting off track - wel then again it is kind og amazing cause my ingers are twichin so bad) 5,000 doses of LSD 250 doses of qualudes 600 cases of JACK DANIELS ok now for the good part. Consume all of these yourself! HAAHAHA! i bet you thou ght you were suposed to put them in the citys water supply or soething! but now you better get moving cause this is all gonna take effect within the hour! but if ya wanna save some to put in the citywater then go ahead,you wont have quite as much fun but who the fuck am i to tell you exactly how to do things. Step four: Drive to the heart of the city. on the way see how many little old ladies and fag poodles ya can hit. When ya get to the talest building in town smash into a fire hydrant in front of it. now get out and run like a bitch *just have the demon carry all the shit for ya*! and go to the FUCKEN TOP of the building. here is where you do all this. Make the demon inhale all the propane, and give him the smaler amount of gas (the one I talked about first..go back about 70 lins or so./) to drionk. Now hes all set. now YOU have to get on his back. make him carry the hammers and paint and the largetr amount of gas. Have him take off and fly all over the city aas he flys just throw hammers down at building windows and people and paint at both of those too! Now i bet you thinking i forgot all about those garbage bags and the flamethrowr. Hell no i didnt! with the little bit of propane hes got left have him blow up the bags so they make a giant baloon. now you take the big amount of gas and drink it (after all those other drugs it should be a smnap!) and jump. With your weight off him and all that propane in him and with that baloon he will instantly take off straight up into heaven, where he will cause some wicked shit to happen! As for you, you will fly down and hit the ground, and be goin so fast that you go right through all the way to Hell. Once you get there all the gas in you will ingite and BOOM! Satan will be proud of you for sure! a perfect ending to a perfect day! b0g!#@!b0g!#@!b0g!#@!b0g!#@!b0g!#@!b0g!#@!b0g!#@!b0g!#@!b0g!#@!b0g!#@! b0g!#@!b0g!#@!b0g!#@!b0g!#@!b0g!#@!b0g!#@!b0g!#@!b0g!#@!b0g!#@!b0g!#@! "I promise you a police car on every sidewalk." "If you take out the killings, Washington actually has a very very low crime rate." "The laws in this city are clearly racist. All laws are racist. The law of gravity is racist." -Mayor Marion Berry. b0g!#@!b0g!#@!b0g!#@!b0g!#@!b0g!#@!b0g!#@!b0g!#@!b0g!#@!b0g!#@!b0g!#@! b0g!#@!b0g!#@!b0g!#@!b0g!#@!b0g!#@!b0g!#@!b0g!#@!b0g!#@!b0g!#@!b0g!#@!